That's blatant lie. We don't even have Circle-Ks in Toronto. But ever since "Be Excellent to Each Other" left the lexicon at the dawn of the 1990s, I so rarely get the opportunity to pepper my speech with Bill- and/or Ted-isms, I thought we'd all get a nostalgic kick out of titling my post thusly.
Regardless, there are strange things afoot, just not at the Circle-K. Actually, that might be an inadvertent untruth, too. There may very well be strange things afoot at a Circle-K, somewhere in the world, so I really shouldn't be spreading any "all is well" rumours unless I receive some on-the-scene witness verification on that. I'll keep you posted.
Anyway, the oddities to which I'm referring are taking place in High Park.
Yesterday, I started my walk home, entering the park from the northeastern tip of the park, near the Keele Subway station. As I entered the "woodsy" area, something shiny caught my eye. Much like a brand-new puppy, I'm easily distracted by shiny objects and I scampered over to investigate.
There was a piece of jewellery hanging on the lower limb of a pine tree. It was quite a pretty necklace, one I'd actually wear. I kept walking by the tree and noticed ANOTHER necklace hanging on another branch--accompanied by a lovely pair of earrings! Then I realized there was a third, incredibly tacky necklace, adorning yet another branch!
Obviously, these discoveries were perplexing. Typically, when you happen upon something in the park that's not normally found in nature, it's garbage..coffee cups, cigarette butts etc. (Yes, despite the fact that there are plenty of receptacles conveniently located through the park, it is still perpetually littered with trash). So to see several pieces of jewellery hanging on a tree puzzled me immeasurably!
I came up with several possible explanations, none of which seem plausible...
—A local family can't wait to begin Christmas celebrations. Their tyrant father won't allow any Yuletide talk until December 10th. As such, they've chosen to decorate a tree in the park, with inauspicious trinkets that they were able to remove from the home without arousing any suspicion.
—These pieces of jewellery were found in the park, inadvertently lost and/or left behind by previous visitors. Benevolent hikers happened upon the jewellery and hung it on the universally known "Lost Jewellery Tree". Though not publicized, this particular tree is known to one and all as the park's "Lost and Found" area. If you ever lose something in the park, check the tree!
—A secret admirer of mine is trying to get my attention. Every day he/she hangs a new piece of jewellery on the tree, hoping to catch my attention, whilst lurking in the bushes, surreptitiously spying on me as I walk home. Should I one day take the shiny bait, he/she plans to jump out of the bushes declaring their love/lust in hopes that we'll live happily ever after.
I dunno. I heard there was a movie shooting in High Park yesterday, so perhaps it was related to the production.
Anyone else have any ideas?
2 comments:
Oh, forgot to put it in your paper---there's a new breed of trees that grows jewelry.
I would go with the secret admirer explanation. Even if it's not true, doesn't that make you feel good?
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