Extra! Extra! Newspapers & Me: My Daily Dilemma(s)

I love newspapers--I always have.

Part of it is that I simply need to know what's going on the world. If I don't, I float through life with a vague but nagging sense of foreboding niggling at my gut, like a junk food hangover.

But my love of newspapers is so much more than that...it's practically an obsession...My anticipation prior to opening a brand-new, unsullied newspaper is palpable. What might I find inside? Who knows?! It could be anything!!

Oh, it's terribly exciting...

I'm sure I inherited my affection for newspapers from my dad--the same way I inherited his penchant for physically assaulting people who dared to read his newspaper before he'd had a chance to do so. He just HAD to be the first person to read his paper and I, too, possess this adorable quirk. (Hey--one man's annoying vice is another man's adorable quirk..).

When I was growing up, if I dared to read my dad's paper before he'd done so, no matter how cautious I was in taking the sections apart, no matter how gingerly I turned the pages and no matter how carefully I reassembled the paper when I was finished--somehow, he ALWAYS KNEW it wasn't the pristine, untouched newspaper to which he'd been looking forward!

Anyway, I still love newspapers.

However, as someone who is a big fan of the environment (in general) and of trees (specifically) consumption of news in paper form is an awfully cavalier & careless habit. I know that sounds weird, coming from someone who was raised in a town whose entire livelihood was dependent upon a paper mill, but that's just how I feel.

*shrug*

Hence, one of my newspaper dilemmas: The crushing guilt associated with enjoying them.

In deference to the environment (and the fact that it's a readily accessible and relatively up-to-date source) I generally access newspapers & magazines online. It's not as satisfying as reading a real paper, though. Something about the tactile-ness of holding the paper in your hands and turning the pages and perpetually sporting newsprint smudges on one's face is just incredibly fulfilling to me, more so that pressing "Refresh".

The only problem is that I still need to do my crossword every day. And for that, I need a real paper!

People have suggested that I can purchase a crossword puzzle book or do crossword puzzles online, but I'm not interested in these solutions. I have no interest in doing a crossword in a puzzle book--I'm only interested in doing the daily crossword from the newspaper (on the day the newspaper is printed). I know it's weird, but we've already established that I'm full of adorable quirks, so you shouldn't be surprised. I generally won't read a newspaper after 3 pm, either, because by then, it's not news anymore. So? Wanna make something of it?

This brings me to my NEXT newspaper dilemma: Which paper to buy?

Here's the issue: I normally read The Toronto Star. It's better written and less trashy than The Sun. It's nowhere near as arrogant & pretentious as the Globe & Mail. And, unlike the National Post, every single article isn't an editorial.

The problem is that the crosswords in The Star SUCK! They're just way too easy...where's the fun there?!

I like to do the New York Times crosswords...they're the most challenging and they (ostensibly) get harder and harder each day of the week (Monday = easiest, Sunday = most challenging). Though my own experience is that though I can usually complete Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday's crosswords, I seem to have some sort of mental block about Wednesday's (either that or the folks over at the Times like to amuse themselves by slipping in a ridiculously hard puzzle on Wednesdays, just to mess with peoples' heads).

Unfortunately, the only local paper that carries the New York Times crossword is the Toronto Sun.

This makes no sense to me--the Sun is the "lowest common denominator" paper. It's the least high-brow, the one with the "Sunshine Girl" on the back page, the one most likely to run salacious and/or exploitative headlines and stories. It's the tabloid paper.

Yesterday, the cover story was a full-page picture of O.J. Simpson under the headline "The Juice is Loose!"...Really? This was REALLY the BIGGEST story in Toronto yesterday? O.J. Simpson being granted bail for some alleged robbery/altercation in Las Vegas?

*rolls eyes*

I'm not implying Sun readers are stupid, I'm just assuming (however unfairly) that, demographically, folks who buy the Sun are likely more interested in the 47 pages of Leafs coverage, and the scantily clad Sunshine Girl, than the New York Times Crossword.

My dilemma is that I don't want people to see me buying the Sun. It's embarrassing! I don't want people to think I read The Sun...

I know, I'm a newspaper snob. I can't help it!

For the time being, my problem has been solved...my boss has all the local papers, and papers from several other cities, delivered every day, in order to conduct ad tracking. And every day, I surreptitiously steal the crossword page from the Toronto Sun.

Ah, life is good.