Would this be considered ironic?

I ordered a new pair of scissors at work. My old pair had become inexplicably dull, seemingly overnight. I couldn't even cut paper with them! So I ordered a new pair and threw the old, no longer functioning set in the garbage.

Before I go on, I have a question: Why is it a "pair" of scissors? Are each of the blades, individually, a scissor? Doesn't sound right, does it? What purpose does one scissor serve? A scissor is nothing until attached to another scissor! I contend that until you put 2 individual scissors together to form a pair, their existence is pointless....like Bert without Ernie...or fries without ketchup....

So, I got my new pair of scissors today. I slipped the cardboard off the blades (presumably put on before shipping to prevent the blades from opening in transit and causing unimaginable injuries to the delivery person).

There was another hunk of cardboard wrapped around one of the places you put your fingers in to operate the scissors (do these have a name? I can't think of one. Scissor finger holes? Not very catchy....).

Anyway, this baffling piece of thick yellow cardboard, with no discernible purpose, was fastened together by what I can only describe as a metal grommet. No, I don't get it, either.

I tried to rip off the inscrutable chunk of cardboard. It wouldn't rip! It was fastened too tightly and the cardboard was too thick!

The only conceivable solution to removing the piece of cardboard from my new scissors would be to cut it off...

You see my dilemma.

To quote the illustrious Norm Peterson: It's a dog-eat dog world, Sammy...and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear...