Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Toronto: Anything Goes!

Recently, a group of us from my office went out for lunch.

On our walk back, 3 of us were walking ahead and I was walking behind with my co-worker, Joel.

Suddenly, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye…it was a naked butt…as I clasped my hands over my mouth and shockingly shouted, "Oh dear Lord!" I realized the guy was, in fact, taking a whiz into a bottle of some kind.

Joel said, "Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go.." and I couldn't even respond! It was a business district, right on Bloor street, and a guy was taking a whiz!

Then Joel said, "I've never seen that before.." and I said, "And that is your calm response??!"

In relaying the story to another co-worker, who was with us, but was in the group walking ahead of me and missed this debacle, he asked, "Was it a hobo?"

I said, "Um..well, he wasn't carrying a bandana bag on a stick, if that's what you're asking.."

He clarified, "OK, was it a disenfranchised person, then?"

I replied, "Yes, definitely."

He said, "I wish I'd seen that!"

Appalled, I responded, "No you don't!!! Are you crazy?!"

Gotta love the mean streets of Toronto.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

My Public Demands It...

My cranky fan insists that I post more over here, and who am I to deny her?

While I was in the Dominican, I actually tried to maintain a diary of my activities every day--I had every intention of posting those as blog entries upon my return--but I just haven't found the time. Perhaps I will, someday, but it just seems pointless and anachronistic now, a month later. I suppose if I was capable of posting pics on this thing, it would be more interesting, but I can't seem to master that. And I can't seem to get up the gumption to figure it out. Oh well.

So I'll tell you my story of Sunday...this is A Day in MY Life..without pictures.

I got up and it was a gorgeous, sunny, warm spring day. Yay! Perfect day for a baseball game--lucky me, I have tickets to see the Jays vs the Red Sox! Go Jays!

I wanted to get some cleaning done before the game, which I did...some vacuuming (which led me, once again, to the conclusion that I desperately need a new facuum cleaner. Mine sucks! And not the way it's supposed to suck either! You know it's bad when it won't even pick up a dog's whisker off the floor! But I digress..).

Anyway, got some cleaning done and went to the game which was great fun--it's always fun when the Jays win, particularly when it's thanks to a GRAND SLAM HOME RUN by Frank Thomas (way to earn your cheque, there, FT, ya big cheapskate!)!!

I decided I would make a vegan "chicken" pot pie for dinner so stopped by the Sobey's on the way home after the game to pick up some ingredients. This meal is a lot of work, but well worth it.

I got home and started preparing dinner and cleaning...sautee, sautee, sautee...scrub, scrub, scrub...ding! ding! Gotta put the laundry in the dryer!

I finally got the pot pie assembled and in the oven...I kept on cleaning and as it cooked, I found myself salivating in anticipatory delight.

When the 30 minutes baking time was up, I opened the oven and was overjoyed at how pretty my pot pie was...perfectly and uniformly browned...smelling delicious. I grabbed my thumb-less oven mitts (created with love and bestowed upon me by the one and only, extremely talented, Buggles) and carefully slipped my hands under the tin pie plate.

I began to remove the pie from the oven and, as I did so, the goddamn cheapo aluminum plate collapsed in the middle! Smoldering hot gravy and pie pieces flew across my kitchen--walls, floor, oven, my bare hands!

Naturally, due to almost debilitating PMS, I burst into tears.

Then I realized the skin on my hand was sizzling and flung the steaming food pieces off and plunged my hand into the sink under cold water.

So...to sum up...

1. An hour of prep time--wasted;
2. No dinner;
3. 2nd or 3rd degree burns.

Got some nice blisters to show for it, though.