Tuesday, August 10, 2010

What'd I Ever Do to That Stupid Bee?!

The other night, after work, I was merrily walking down my street, greeting neighbours, petting dogs - I think I might have even been whistling - and, out of nowhere, I got stung by a bee, right through my pants!

Pretty disrespectful, on the part of the bee - it wasn't like I was frolicking through a flower garden or swinging a bat at his friggin' beehive, I was innocently walking down the sidewalk!!! Grrrrrr...I thought we had a deal?!

It's been a week now and I'm still a trifle nervous when I'm walking home. Who's kidding who here? For the first couple of days after this occurred, I must have looked like a seriously paranoid meth-freak, with my head whipping around every time I saw something - anything! - out of the corner of my eye. The BEES! THE BEES ARE COMING!! RUN! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Anyway - when it happened, it was a huge shock, I almost fell over, it hurt so much and it took me a minute or 2 to even figure out what had occurred (I guess adrenaline starts pumping through your body in response to the venom entering your system and, combined with the surprise & the pain, it left me feeling a little dazed).

I had to walk the rest of the way home with one pant leg hiked up to mid-thigh becase the pant brushing against the sting area was akin to repeatedly poking myself with one of those metal marshmellow roasting sticks that had been sitting in a fire for an hour.

It hurt & itched for several days - it's still somewhat itchy - but it's clear that I'm not allergic, since I didn't have one of those anaphylactic reactions & stop breathing. Yay!!

It was odd, though - the day after The Beecident, the actual "bite site" resembled little more than a mosquito bite - a small bump, almost no redness - it appeared to be healing nicely! However, the day after that, it had swollen into a monstrosity - 3 or 4 inches in diameter & swollen up from the leg signifcantly, red (almost purple) in colour. When I absentmindedly went to scratch the area, my hand glanced the gargantuan growth and it was so unexpected (and huge) that I actually jumped up off my chair! (How much do I love hyperbole? Love x infinity!!)

 It's much better now, but you can still see remnants of the protruberance on my leg - a rude reminder.

I'm still bitter- stupid bee. This isn't over.

Beware of bees! (see picture)

P.S. (A week after the beecident) I spotted this mockery in a storefront on my way home from work - clearly put there at the behest of the IBC (International Bee Coalition) to further frighten me. I bet bees fly out of these Backpacks of Evil as soon as you unzip them. Nefarious backpack bees! Run like the wind! Ruuuuuuuuuuuun!

No comments: