"For God’s sakes Lemon, we’d all like to flee to the Cleve and club up at the Flats and have lunch with Little Richard, but we fight those urges."
And for those of you who didn't know it was a "30 Rock" reference, we are officially no longer friends--I have no desire to associate with anyone who doesn't watch 30 Rock. What kind of asshole doesn't watch 30 Rock? An asshole with whom I don't want to be friends, that's what kind!
Anyway...
My (# 1 in the AL East) Toronto Blue Jays were playing a series in Cleveland over Easter weekend and, naturally, we decided to go!!
After a leisurely Good Friday, doing a whole lotta nothing, we drove down to Niagara Falls for the night...gambled for a few hours and got a good night's sleep, since we had to hit the road pretty early in order to make it to the stadium in plenty of time for the 1 pm game.
Before we left, we managed to grab a pair of 2nd row tickets (below face value, no less) from "StubHub"--right behind the Blue Jays dugout!! Woohoo!
We woke up Saturday morning and it was a beautiful, sunny day (a huge improvement over the previous day's rain--and the previous day's 3.5 hour rain delay of game in Cleveland!), however, once we stepped outside we realized it was fucking freezing!! Good God.
We had an uneventful drive to Cleveland's "Progressive Field" (formerly known as "Jacob's Field" and (still) affectionately referred to by those "in the know" as "The Jake"). Once we found parking (right across the street from the stadium), we exited the car (with fingers crossed no one would vandalize the car for bearing an Ontario license plate)and realized it was even colder, in Cleveland, than it was in Niagara Falls!! D'oh!
Speaking of "d'oh", I stupidly forgot my gloves in the car. Nor did I bring the blanket with me from the trunk. I'm so stupid.
Indians fans were everywhere, heading in to the stadium, though we did spot more than a couple of Blue Jay hats, here and there, in the crowd. Cleveland is the closest city for which Torontonians can travel for professional baseball or basketball, so it's no surprise that a number of folks made the trek--particularly since this was a long weekend!
I've travelled a lot and been to a number of cities for both Jays and Raptors games. For the most part, people in these cities (and inside the sporting venues) have been remarkably, overwhelmingly friendly and welcoming, even when I'm sporting my team's paraphernalia!
That's not the case in The Cleve.
Fans in this city are rabid & vicious! We previously attended a Cavaliers vs Raptors game and encountered exactly the same thing. Psychos abounded!!
We had wandered around the concourse of the stadium for a bit (freezing!) trying to locate our seats...(and what great seats they were!!). However, when we went to sit down, a crusty old man in the seats beside ours snarled, "I go to ONE GAME A YEAR and I have to sit by JAYS fans...why didn't you just stay home??!"
Well, thanks for the warm welcome!
I ordered a cocktail (something called a "Jelly Bean" w/vodka, watermelon liquor & cranberry juice...it's allegedly some kind of Cleveland Easter treat, though my friend Kimmy, who's lived in the area her entire life, had never heard of it...anyway, it was DELICIOUS! It was also very well iced and the ice didn't melt even a little bit, due to the extreme temperatures, so it was semi-painful to hold).
I'm not sure how cold it actually was, but we could see our breath, and the wind off the lake was very strong that day and, obviously, extremely chilly. Thank goodness there was not a cloud in the sky--it would have been far more uncomfortable than it was if the sun hadn't been beating down all afternoon. In fact, the staff were actually moving people from one side of the stadium (that was becoming more and more shadow-covered as the day wore on) to the other so they could be in the sun!
The game was amazing...the Jays pulled out a victory despite the best (aka worst) efforts of BJ Ryan (the Blue Jays' ostensible "closer") to ruin all the hard work done by ace Roy Halladay, the starting pitcher, and the collective Blue Jays bats....
The Jays were up 5-1 (I can't recall if it was in the 8th or the 9th that Cito brought Ryan in) and Ryan managed to walk the bases loaded. I was so distraught I actually left my seat and paced around the concourse--I couldn't watch! It was too painful!
Anyway, final score was 5-4 for the good guys. :)
Oh, and, Indians fans: Well done! You made us feel so welcome in your city!
"JAYS SUCK!!" ~ Some guy coming out of the washroom, upon seeing a Blue Jays cap--charming!
"She's a JAYS fan." ~ Dad, grumpily, explaning to his young child why I was cheering when the Blue Jays got a hit.
"JAYS SUUUUUCK!" ~ Dad a few rows behind us
"Daddy, what's suck mean?" ~ Child of the dad who believes the Jays suck
"It means they SUCK! I hate them! They SUCK!" ~ Same dad, doing some just excellent parenting...
Overall, we had a great time...I'm also pleased to report that not everyone was as rude to us as the Indians fans inside the stadium were. As we left the game, a gentlemen wished us a "Good night" and then, noticing our hats, laughed and said, "I *know* you two will have a good night..you're Jays fans!!"
After the game, we went to meet my friend Kimmy & her wonderful son (yep, he's one of the few kids I actually LIKE!) JD for dinner at one of her favourite restaurants, with lots of veggie options, called "Tommy's" on Coventry Street. If you're in the area, I highly recommend it!
We arrived pretty early so we parked the car and explored the neighbourhood a bit (after cleverly side-stepping some puke in the parking garage...stink-o-rama!) Very cool area, major hippie vibe, lots of places I'd like to go eat should I ever make it back to The Cleve!
We decided to go for a drink at a bar/restaurant called the "Laughing Lizard" (I could be wrong about the "laughing" part...but I know it had an adjective before the word lizard in the title...it could have been "laughing"...). The drink selection was gargantuan...I was having trouble deciding...I ultimately settled on a Bloody Mary and it was GENIUS! Mmmm...(((Genius Bloody Mary)))...
After dinner, we went to what must be one of JD's favourite places on earth, a crazy novelty store called "BIG FUN". As you can see, it was, indeed, BIG fun.
The GPS lady decided to take us on a scary trek through Sketchville (not a real place) on our way out of town...we were stopped at a light, for what seemed like an eternity, and I don't mind telling you, I was becoming a little bit nervous. In any case, we glanced over at the mini-strip-mall style store to the left and noticed that the windows were all covered with ads for the store's products/services..."Bibles: $6.95 and Up!"... "Crucifixes: Sm/Med/Lg"..."Rat Bait"
Wait--what?
Then we noticed the name of the company:
Wow. What a combination of services!! And, from the looks of things, they started out exclusively selling Christian supplies. Then, for whatever reason, they decided to expand--logically, into pest control!
I have a theory that perhaps, over the years, customers would come in for their religious materials and mention how bad off they were, pest-wise...and T & L, being shrewd business owners, decided to take advantage!!
And that was our trip to The Cleve! A whirlwind of adventure!!
See ya next time, Ohio!
And Cleveland sports fans: Stay classy!
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