As you may or may not know, I've been hunting for a new home to purchase - not sure whether it will be a house or townhouse or a condo yet, but the hunt is on!
Once the search began, it became immediately obvious that real estate agents (and the industry at large) speak a language all their own - an encrypted code designed to sell, SELL, SELL! by relying on subterfuge & peoples' perceived stupidity.
I'm not sure who they think they're fooling, though....the code is about as hard to crack as an unboiled egg....
Should you ever find yourself looking for a new home, here's a quick guide to The Language of Real Estate:
Cozy = Tiny
"Open Concept" = No walls.
"Loft-Style" = See "Open Concept" & add stairs (or a bunk-bed style ladder).
"Boutique Building" = Built sometime between World Wars I & II
"Perfect for first-time buyers..." = Small and/or dirty and/or requires $$$$ in repairs
"Contents Included" = You clean this shit up.
"Juliet Balcony" = Floor-to-ceiling window that opens, but is blocked by a railing (Note: Seriously? Do people fall for this?)
"Condo Alternative" = A house too small for anything more than 1 or 2 adults & possibly a dog.
I'm forgetting a bunch. I'll add more as they come to me.