Friday, December 11, 2009

Last night I had a crazy dream...

So, last night, I had a crazy dream. And it was so crazy, I decided to share it. I decided to share it on Facebook as a note, because, I thought, generally, people really don't care about other peoples' dreams.

BORING!

That being said, I thought that the friends in my dream (and a few others, who've always enjoyed the musings of my crazy mind) might enjoy the retelling of what went on in my psyche last night.

So, I did that.

And it turned out that everyone seemed to really enjoy the dream!

Even the folks who weren't IN the dream!

So, perhaps, others might enjoy it...hence, this post...my dream from last night:

No, I'm not about to burst into that Matthew Wilder song from the 80s. I actually had a completely bizarre dream last night.

Poop & I were living in a crazy mansion, with lots of art deco-type design. I was in the kitchen, creating a stir-fry for dinner. Poop came into the kitchen and said, "Have you looked at the calendar today? Joanna's having her surgery!"

And I said, "What? Omigod! I forgot!...OK, we're turning this stir-fry into a pot of soup and we're bringing it to her at the hospital...you finish the soup, I'm going to get changed.."

Then I came back from getting changed and noticed that he'd pulled out the absolute SMALLEST Tupperware container we had in which to transport the soup and he'd only filled it up HALFWAY!

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked

"What?"

"Why are you using such a small container?"

"Um....well....I want to have some soup, too..." he replied poutily.

I took over soup duty, put the soup into an appropriately sized container and we went off to the hospital.

When we arrived, I asked at the front desk and the attendant indicated, "Nope. Sorry. Nobody's having surgery today!"

Weird.

Then a gentleman came in and offered us the opportunity to take a test so we could become professional airline pilots--just like that--and we could take the test right there, in the hospital!

So, we took the test and we both aced it...then we figured out it was some kind of crazy scam and we planned to tell the FBI.

As we were leaving to go see the FBI (weird, since we live in Canada), I saw my friend Tara leaving the hospital and realized it was she, not Joanna, who had been having surgery. For some strange reason, Tara was sporting a hideous perm and random patches of hair were dyed bright yellow.

Anyway, I tried to give her the soup, but the desk attendant had eaten it. Oh well.

Then we were suddenly transported to my friends', Lance & Amy's house. Lance & Amy usually live in Rochester. But, in this dream, they lived in a faux wild west village (salloons, hand-painted signs, horses & wild dogs running rampant...you get the idea..).

Lance had gone to buy some paperback books & beer, so we were talking to Amy who indicated that it was Lance's 18th birthday!

Shocked, I asked, "18?! What?? You guys have been married for, like, 5 or 6 years, haven't you? You married him when he was 12??!"

Amy replied proudly, "I know, right?! He's very mature for his age. Did you know, when he was 14, he was given a "Genius Grant" from New York State? It's true."

Then I noticed David Suzuki looking for a gas pump, which was somewhat incongruous, considering his lifelong quest for being green and whatnot. I said, "Hey! Mr Suzuki! Go save an ocelot or something!"

Then, Lance returned, with his paperbacks and his beer, and accidentally allowed a whole pack of wild dogs into the house who, in turn, started fighting with our dogs and ate our pet bunny rabbit.

The whole thing ended with a 20-foot horse walking by the window being ridden by Stephen King.

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I really wish I'd made up even 1 iota of this tale.

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