I was in the grocery store the other day and, naturally, they were piping in the most annoying, god-awful, cheery holiday songs (yep, call me Scroogette, I fucking hate Christmas).
I noticed it was "Frosty the Snowman"...what kind of sick-ass, cruel mother-fucker came up with this terrible tune?!!
I mean, it's just insane! Think about it!!
"Frosty the snowman was a jolly, happy soul.."
Sounds good, so far, doesn't it...
Notice the PAST TENSE in reference to this alleged "jolly happy" guy...
Also note, he's referred to as a "soul" implying, he, too, is also past tense.
The whole friggin' song is like a eulogy!
And this is for kids?? What the fuck?!
"Frosty the Snowman, knew the sun was hot that day, so he said, let's run and we'll have some fun now before I melt away!"
Ostensibly an admirable sentiment...seize the day and all that crap...but a little morbid, no?
Hey kids! I'm going to expire later! Let's grab some broomsticks and mock that traffic officer before I'm nothing more than a puddle on the ground!! Woot! Woot! PAR-TAY!!!
Exeunt Rant. Happy freakin' holidays!
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