My Trip to The Cleve (Part II)

Saturday morning, November 24th

Awoke bright and early at the crack of 9:30 am to a dreary and cold-looking day. We were psyched for the Raptors/Cavaliers game, which was to begin at 1:00 pm.


After a brief discussion about what whether or not we were going to have breakfast or lunch or brunch, and where we should go for said meal, my insistence upon ordered room service was agreed upon.


I love room service. I'm not sure why. Something about food being delivered to me, on a tray, with little silver covers over all the dishes, plastic wrap covering the juice and water glasses is terribly exciting to me. Not to mention the fact that I can eat it all in my underwear, should I so desire. I don't care that it costs a little more, the multiple fun factors make the extra cost worthwhile.


We had omelets and homefries and toast and it took a ridiculously long time, so they brought us FREE apple juice! REAL apple juice, too!


We ate our brunch and watched "The Craft" on TV...what a great "bad" movie...gotta love it...and then we got ready and checked out of the hotel.


The Quicken Loans Arena (aka The Q) is located only a few short blocks from our hotel, so we stowed our bags in the car, we each grabbed our respective Raptors-flag-on-a-stick to take to the game with us and headed over to the venue. Unfortunately, the security guards wouldn't let us bring the flags in with us...actually, that's not exactly true...they had no problem with us bringing in our flags, but we couldn't bring in the sticks, as they could, apparently, be brandished as weapons. Yes, this actually happened.


Apparently, The Cleve is more violent than Detroit. Last year we attended a Raptors/Pistons game at the Palace and the security guard there initially told me I couldn't bring my flag-on-a-stick into the arena. I managed to convince him I wasn't going to hurt anyone with my flag-on-a-stick. I assured him it wasn't dangerous and pointed out the little ball on the top of the stick whose sole purpose, I'm sure, was to prevent injury. After my convincing testimony, he allowed me to bring my flag-on-a-stick into the game with me.


We weren't so lucky at The Q. We ripped our flags off their sticks and threw the sticks in the garbage. It was very sad. And, as you can imagine, waving around tiny flags sans stick is just about as much fun as it sounds...not very.


:/


The Raptors went on to blow a nice, first-half lead and lose a heartbreaking game. A couple of other things that occurred to me, seeing a game for the first time in this building:

• The Cavs organization must believe their fans are all suffering from ADD. Every single second of non-playing time is filled with a game, or dancing, or the annoying in-game host or hostess addressing the crowd. It was sooo incredibly annoying. I actually mentioned this to Doug Smith, the Toronto Star reporter who covers the Raptors and he confirmed that at all the other arenas in the NBA, they only do ONE game during breaks, but at The Q, they do TWO!! I'm glad I wasn't just imagining things.
• There sure are a lot of jerky fans in Cleveland..we got up to go to the bathroom, sporting our Raptors gear, and the entire SECTION booed us!!! And it's not like the Raptors were winning...
• I'm not sure what the point of flashing the Pittsburgh Steelers logo on the big screen (while the Raptors were shooting free throws) was. Sure, it inspires boos, but it implies the fans are too stupid to realize that it's a good idea attempt to disrupt the opponents' free throws via obstreperous antics. Oh, and the cross-sport hate is a little odd, too...

Anyway, all in all, it was a really fun trip. Thanks America! Thanks to The Cleve!!

My Trip to The Cleve! (Part I)

This past weekend, I took a roadtrip to The Cleve! The original purpose was to see the Raptors play the Cavaliers on Saturday...I mean, how frequently do the Raptors play an away game, within driving distance, on a weekend? Hardly ever!! Of course we had to make the trek.

Then I discovered that a band I like, Ekoostik Hookah, was playing Friday night at the House of Blues--so I immediately ordered a set of tickets for their gig.

Of course, I was also overjoyed at the prospect of visiting with my friend Kimmy, who lives outside The Cleve, and whom I haven't seen in AGES!

We left Thursday night and stayed overnight on Grand Island (we planned to do some shopping for clothes and we wanted to ensure that we were in the U.S. for the required 48 hour period, so we could return home without having to pay any ridiculous duty charges).

Grand Island is a tiny strip of land on a body of water connecting Lake Erie & Lake Ontario (I'm unaware of what it's called) between Niagara Falls and Buffalo--where they actually make you pay a toll to leave the island.
Pretty sweet scam they're running, if you ask me.

Prior to this trip, I assumed the whole point of Grand Island was to operate the world's crappiest amusement park (if you've ever driven between Niagara Falls and Buffalo, you know what I'm talking about) and making money by forcing people to pay up to get the hell outta there.

Evidently, the island has one more purpose: they host hockey tournaments (the hotel at which we stayed even had a stack of sheets titled "Hockey Agreement" on the Front Desk counter...I guess those hockey players are habitually rambunctious or something and other hotel guests, like myself, frown upon that type of activity. Unless, of course, I'm the one instigating/perpetrating said shenanigans--in that case, it's OK).

Anyway, we had a decent sleep and got up and went to Denny's for breakfast. It was great. Having never eaten at a Denny's when I was growing up, it's still sort of a novelty for me. I had a great veggie omelet (no cheese) and some excellent rye toast (with flax seeds) and a tomato juice. God, I love tomato juice. I wish it was better for you--it's like 98% sodium, though. Boo.

Oh, and they had kick-ass hot sauce...that, now that I think of it, I probably should have stolen. Curses!

After breakfast, I grabbed a coffee (to go) and we hit the road. It was a beautiful sunny day and we wanted to stop by the big mall in Erie, Pennsylvania. Ah, Pennsylvania--the land of no sales tax on clothing. Gotta love it.

We stopped at the mall, bought a few things and decided we'd stop on our back to do some more shopping, since we were a bit pressed for time--we wanted to enjoy our visit with Kimmy before we had to head into the city for the concert.

We headed out of the mall and, lo and behold, the weather had turned from sunny and clear, to a full-on blizzard!!

This is typical of Pennsylvania (or at least typical of our luck whilst in Pennsylvania)--the last time we passed through Erie, we pulled off the highway to do a bit of shopping (and take a break from the blizzard-conditions). In the 30 minutes we were in the mall, they CLOSED the INTERSTATE!! We were stranded in Erie for 12 hours. Luckily, we got the last hotel room in the Greater Erie Area. Not so lucky was the condition of the room--disgusting--but we were in no position to complain.

Anyway, this time, we hit the highway and held our collective breaths in hopes that the snow storm would be brief and we'd make it to The Cleve as planned.

A couple of hours later, we pulled into Kimmy's driveway and the sun was once again peeking through the clouds and the snow had dissipated. We had a great visit with Kimmy and her husband, George, and it was SO much fun to meet their hyperactive, energetic & crazy Lab puppy, Evy. What a sweet (and aggressive) character!

Kimmy made us some delicious lentil soup and I enjoyed a couple of very nice glasses of J.Garcia red wine (Thank you Kimmy, thank you Jerry!) before we hit the road once again.

We arrived downtown, without any hassles or wrong turns--gotta love the GPS! Unfortunately, the GPS doesn't take into account all the roads that are closed in downtown Cleveland (or the fact that it's basically impossible to get around downtown) because of all the road construction they're doing. Apparently, they're putting in some kind of streetcar/trolley system? I dunno. It's a mess, whatever the higher purpose, and we had to circle the hotel area about 5 times before we were able to find a road that would actually allow us to pull up in front of it!

After checking into our hotel, we popped out for some provisions (booze, snacks) and headed back to the hotel to chill for a bit before the concert. The folks at the CVS were incredibly friendly (even though they were trying to close early and had already turned off most of the lights) and they were obsessed with our $1 & $2 Canadian coins. What a novelty!

I know I shouldn't get so excited about American television, but some of the channels in the States are just so much fun. Like that USA channel? When ISN'T there a version of Law & Order on? How cool is that?!

The concert was fun, we met a bunch of nice, friendly people (none of whom could believe we came all the way to The Cleve from Toronto for a basketball game!). We headed back to the hotel around midnight, ordered & enjoyed some delicious pizza and watched the New Jersey Nets lay a beating on Seattle (Boo. Burn in hell, Wince Carter. Scumbag.).

--To Be Continued--

The Cleve/Why Aren't You Watching "30 Rock"??

Henceforth, Cleveland, Ohio will only be referred to as "The Cleve"--thank you, Jack Donaghy*!

--------------------------------------------

*If you don't know who Jack Donaghy is, I'm not sure I want to be your friend.

Because that means you aren't watching "30 Rock".

(NOT to be confused with "Third Rock from the Sun"...very different shows...)

And if you're not watching "30 Rock", that can only mean 1 of 3 things:

1. You're Amish and don't own a TV.

2. Your exhorbitant pornography expenses dictate that you can't afford to pay your cable bill and, therefore, have no way of enjoying the brilliance that is 30 Rock (the funniest show on TV).

3. You're simply retarded.

So start watching 30 Rock--that's an order!! (Would I lead you astray? Pffft. As if!!)

It's smart, clever & altogether witty television...which is generally the kiss of death for a television series (See: "Arrested Development" or "Sports Night" for examples of this phenomenon)!! It needs your viewership--and you won't be sorry!

Here's the thing about 30 Rock: The genius of Tina Fey is such that for every 6 or 7 intelligent jokes that are made, there is at least 1 ribald poop joke catering to the lowest common demoninator viewers/everyone's inner five-year-old--there's something for everyone!!

Anyway, Jack Donaghy is the slick (& hysterically funny) NBC executive on 30 Rock as portrayed brilliantly by Alec Baldwin (who, quite deservedly, won an Emmy this year for his performance in the role). This show, regularly & literally, has me rolling on the floor laughing and Jack Donaghy is often the reason. And, thanks to Jack Donaghy (or the writers of 30 Rock, to be more accurate), we now get to call Cleveland: "The Cleve"! Which is infinitely more fun than saying "Cleveland"....and I'm not even sure why....

It's true, "We'd all like to flee to The Cleve", but only a few of us are so lucky! :)

Mr. Big(stuff): Who do you think you are??!

In the newspaper the other day, I happened upon a tiny blurb about Chris Noth (aka the sexiest detective to ever swagger through Manhattan Homicide on the original "Law & Order" aka the illustrious Mr. Big on "Sex & The City").

This piece indicated that Noth and his long-time girlfriend (?!) are expecting a BABY in 2008!!

Girlfriend?! I didn't know he had a friggin' *girlfriend*, never mind a LONG-TIME girlfriend! And now they're having a KID?!!!

Someone needs to tell these people that Chris is supposed to be waiting for ME!!!

I had it all planned out: He was going to see me on the street (during one of my many jaunts into New York City), instantly become enchanted and sweep me off my feet, like a scene from some kind of cheesy-ass Jennifer Lopez romatic comedy, where she's the lowly but kind-hearted meter-maid and he's the dashing and kind-hearted billionaire dog-food manufacturer.

I can't believe this is happening. Does this mean I'm NOT going to be Mrs. Big now?!! ARGH!!!

Chris, the least you can do is keep your personal life out of the gossip rags, OK?! At least then my oh-so-vivid fantasy life can remain somewhat intact...it's really the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning...and the possibility of a pumpkin spice latte in my future, of course...

Home sick...

I'm home sick from work today. Just me and Kuda, cuddled up on the bed. She's a great home-sick companion...too bad she can't make me soup.

I just finished the 2 books I was reading and there's nothing on television to keep me occupied, though, save Bill Kurtis's singular & ominous voice intoning about "American Justice". I'm not sure why I find "American Justice" so intriguing. Perhaps it's a secret crush on Bill Kurtis. How can you blame me? He's a silver fox!

Clearly, I'm hallucinating.

Oh, and I just learned that there's now pharmaceutical help available for my "restless leg syndrome (RLS)". Thank god. There are, however, some disturbing potential side effects of the drug...should I experience increased gambling or sexual urges, I should contact my doctor. Really? This is a PROBLEM? Alright, whatever.

Melon, Meet Mallet

I have had a headache for 2 days. Which seems extra-annoying because I so rarely get headaches.

It's probably a tumour.

Yesterday, when I realized my head had been aching all morning, I thought perhaps it was a result of a caffeine-deficiency. Usually, I get my coffee around 8 am and nurse it until at least 10 am (tepid coffee is A-OK with me). Yesterday, however, for some reason, I had scarfed back my entire large (er.."grande"..) coffee within 20 minutes!

Of course, my quicker-than-normal coffee-consumption might have had something to do with the fact that I somehow spilled a large portion of it onto my (light-coloured) coat before I even reached the office. I have no idea how it happened--I didn't trip, I didn't have a sip-related/jostling mishap--I just glanced down at myself on my way into the building and became aware that I was COVERED in coffee. I'm such a tool.

Anyway, I surmised that my headache might have been due to a caffeine craving, so I grabbed a Timmy Ho-Ho's and hoped for the best...unfortunately, the pate-pounding persisted..

*sigh*

Oh, and, the Raptors got trounced last night. I don't want to talk about it. Scratch that: I will NOT talk about.

Monday, Monday...

I don't feel like writing anything today.

Apparently, I didn't feel like writing anything on Friday, Saturday or Sunday either.

That's not entirely true...but on Friday, at work, I was incredibly busy (actually working) and Friday night I was otherwise occupied, thoroughly enjoying the spectacle of the Raptors embarrassing the New Jersey Nets on the television.

Saturday, this cold I've been fighting rendered me grumpy and unable to perform any task more strenuous than watching movies and snacking.

Yesterday was a full day...it started out great..it was beautfiul outside, so we walked up to Bloor street for brunch at The Dark Horse. My brunch could have been better...I ordered my omelette with salad on the side, instead of the homefries, and I ordered dry toast (no butter). Naturally, my toast came buttered and my omelette arrived sans salad.

The waitress quickly replaced my toast and assured me my salad was coming, as she had accidentally ordered the potatoes with my meal instead of the salad.

Turns out, I didn't get my salad until I was finished eating everything else (good thing I didn't wait!).

Then, when handing us the bill she said, "We didn't charge you for the salad."

Um, yeah, I should hope not..considering it was your error and I didn't get it until I was actually finished eating...how magnanimous...

We left The Dark Horse and grabbed a couple of coffees from Second Cup. Since it was Sunday (and I got paid last week), I splurged on a "Pumpkin Spice Latte" as described by Brian as "Pretty fucking delicious." It really is, I highly recommend it, if you're into such things.

Then we walked home and I did a bit of cleaning before we headed down to the Air Canada Centre for the highly anticipated match-up between the Raptors and the Boston Celtics.

The game was painful and I don't want to talk about it. In fact, I posted a sign on my cubicle wall this morning warning people that I do NOT want to talk about the game and I'd appreciate their cooperation (Signed: Management).

So let's just say, we went to the game, we had phenomenal seats (thanks to my perpetually generous boss) and then we went out for dinner afterwards.

Oh, and, I saw Doug Smith outside during half-time! (For those of you who don't know, Doug covers basketball for the Toronto Star..I just love him..he's hysterically funny & sarcastic, has great basketball knowledge and is actually unbiased in his reporting--unlike a lot of sports writers--which I greatly appreciate).

Unfortunately, I was too shy to say hello. Maybe next time...

I'll never be an effective stalker if I'm too bashful to say hi...that's the very first thing they teach you in stalker school! No wonder I only got a C-....