Dearest "Cheese Boutique": How do I love thee? (Plus: An odd, semi-related post-script)

There's an amazing gourmet foode shoppe near my house (an extra e at the end of a word means it's e-xtra swanky) called the "Cheese Boutique".

I've lived in this 'hood for 7 years and had never been inside til just the other day...which seems weird, but, since it's called the "Cheese Boutique" and I was vegan for so many years, I didn't think the "CHEESE Boutique" would have anything to offer me! Silly me. It's awesome! With something for EVERYBODY!!

http://www.cheeseboutique.com/

If you like cheese, it's got every possible kind...many of which, I've never even seen (or smelled) before. It's also got fresh breads, soups, baked goods of all kinds, organic veggies, desserts...I could go on and on!

And it's HUGE! Like the size of a regular supermarket almost!

And since it's sort of in a residential area (and not on the main drag of Bloor Street where a lot of these gourmet shops are located), it's not crowded either. The shops in business districts have their products JAM-PACKED in order to maximize the space available to them and, as a result, navigating around shelves & the other customers is almost impossible (at worst) and incredibly uncomfortable (at best).

Anyway, I love it!!! I love it so much, if I were Tracy Jordan, I'd take it out back behind the middle school and get it pregnant!

Yesterday, I was perusing the shelves, wandering around, because I had some free time and wanted to check out every bit of their inventory, at a leisurely pace. I wanted to see everything they had to offer and I also wanted to memorize where everything is so that I can be an expert patron of the store. (Everyone needs a hobby).

Oh! Also, you could conceivably eat enough samples of cheese & pickles & crackers & bagels & chocolates & cookies & chips & grapes & cake (etc etc etc) whilst walking around inside there, you wouldn't even need to buy anything! (Not that I'm recommending this...your patronage allows the "Cheese Boutique" to maintain it's fantasticosity!!).

It was a lot of fun. Wheeeeeee!

If you couldn't tell, I highly recommend the "Cheese Boutique."

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P.S. As I was looking through an area of canned goods, I noticed a can of something called, "Vegetarian Haggis". Um..WHAT??!!!!

Regular Haggis=Ew (but who am I to judge the Scots...to each their own, just keep it away from me)

BUT.....

Vegetarian Haggis=HUH?!?! What the WHAT?

I don't get it.

Why, why, WHY would anyone want that? <-------------not a rhetorical question

Why isn't this socially acceptable?

There are 2 things that Kuda the dog loves above all else (not including walks in the park & any kind of delicious snack):

1. Stuffed animals that make squeeky noises and

2. Tennis Balls

She loves all stuffed animals, to a degree, but she especially enjoys the ones that squeek. We recently discovered that the American Kennel Club (AKC) makes squeeky stuffies that are considerably more durable than your average stuffed animal--they last a few weeks or even months, as opposed an hour or two, which is great because these things aren't inexpensive!

I also suspect that the AKC spikes these toys with a canine equivalent of catnip--the dog really goes nuts for these things, way beyond explanation.

Last night she was playing, alternating between her stuffed squeeky toy (that we all know as "Ocelot") and her tennis ball.



Kuda & Ocelot in a quiet moment..


I then spied a white plastic object on the floor and realized that Kuda had chewed open her Ocelot and the squeeker had fallen out.

Suddenly, I was inspired to create the greatest dog toy ever: A plush toy stuffed with...a tennis ball!! Oh happy day for all dogs everywhere!

I jumped into action.

First, I distracted Kuda with a treat and while she was chasing a chunk of carrot across the carpet, I grabbed Ocelot and the tennis ball. I then went to work--I had to rip a bigger hole in poor Ocelet's back, but I was able to eventually work the tennis ball into the belly of the beast.

Once it was assembled, I tossed it over in Kuda's direction....and she began to freak the fuck out!

She grabbed on to it, then tossed it aside, then chased after it...then, inexplicably, she tucked her rump in & up and began randomly & vigorously HUMPING THE AIR!

We lost ourselves in hysterics--we'd never seen anything like it!

This is not normal behaviour for this dog--Kuda has never done anything like this this before.

She was spayed when she was a puppy and unless she unleashes (ha!) her secret desires by mounting furniture while we're all at work (or otherwise absent), I don't think she's a big "humper", per se.

My theory is that she was just SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED that she simply could not fathom any other way to express her joy!

My question is this: Why is this not socially acceptable for humans? When we are awestruck and rendered mute and stunned into immobility due to sheer joy--why can't we express ourselves thusly? Why can't we just "hump it out"?

Imagine what a happy world it would be.